The house is quiet and if I walk through the rooms I won’t find him laying under his Me somewhere being cozy. He isn’t coming in to ask me for something to eat, he isn’t playing cars. The house is quiet.
Really?? Did I really just drop Miles off at preschool?!
I did. Matt and I did. Lunchbox in hand with a snack packed inside. (Thanks Lisa. He’s finally able to use it!)
Leaving was hard. I think harder for me than for him. I know that he was sad and a little scared but he went off and played. Thankfully his best friend Sorcha was their by his side. And thankfully, her mom left when I did.
I think that was the hardest thing. Leaving while other children’s mommies were still there. Hanging out in the classroom. Other mommies that were in the “Mommy and Me” class with us last year. I just kept thinking as I was standing outside the building that he was going to look around and see all of them and wonder why they were there but I wasn’t. That he would be sad and begin to cry because he was “left”.
But, my sister reminded me that he’s a big boy and he’s o.k. That if he asks about why those mommies were there and why I wasn’t, I could tell him it’s because he’s such a big boy and was having a fun day. That eventually those mommies are going to leave too. That I’m proud of him and happy that he was able to play with his friends at school. Before I left I even peeked around back through the window. He was playing with Sorcha and doing just fine.
Truth be told, I’m the one that’s sad. I’m the one that’s crying while I’m writing this thinking of my little boy being so big that he can be at school without me. O.K. deep breath. Breath. Just breath and remember that for goodness sakes, this is only for 2 1/2 hours!! We can make it!
Miles, I love you SOOOO much. You’re such a big boy and I’m so proud of you.