I’ve been feeling sluggish lately. Sluggish in a way that I wasn’t able to understand until a friend in my business network group put a name to it. Kimberly Urrea is our “interior alchemy” expert and a couple of weeks ago she talked about how we were reaching the end of a cycle as we approached Chinese New Year. That the year of the Snake was ending and the year of the Horse was about to begin.
When she said this, it was almost like my whole body lit up and went “YES! , that’s exactly what I’m feeling”. I’m in the last stages of shedding old skin and on the cusp of a new adventure. I’ve been looking at the things in my life that no longer serve me. Places where I need to “clean up” something. It’s funny what’s been showing up. In my space, specifically, I’ve been letting go and transitioning things that don’t represent who I am, today. Here’s an example. I have a calendar in my extended kitchen area. It’s one of those beautiful Potter Barn calendars. The dry erase kind. It’s nice and white with a beautiful dark wood frame, just waiting for me to fill it in with all of the events and activities we have on a monthly basis. But, that’s the problem. It’s blank…waiting for me to fill it in. Every month! It’s a magnetic board as well so it’s become a house for coupons that aren’t used, a cute note one of the boys wrote, an assessment of Mason’s that we’re proud of etc. But the truth is, it’s just a mess. It’s not doing the job I intended it to do and when I think about it, really think about it, it depresses me.
It was interesting to get to that place. To realize that something that I walk by every day depresses me. It’s a reminder of what I’m NOT doing. A reminder of the mom I want to be, not the mom that I am. I look at that calendar and think, “I should be using that!. I should be writing all of the things we have on our calendar each month.” But I don’t. Instead I use it to pin up things that I don’t even really want to look at. And why do I do that? So I dont have to see all of the blank days of the month that I didn’t fill in…again!
So, what to do about it?! Take it down and put a nice piece of art up in its place. A photograph or a painting. Something that when I look at it, I feel good. I feel inspired and happy. Something that gives me energy instead of sucking it away.
THIS is why I’ve been feeling sluggish. I know it may be hard for some people to understand but some people will get it. I’m a visual person and seeing the world around me affects me deeply. Even something as mundane as a couch pillow seriously affects my mood. That’s something else we recently did. We took our old, worn out, tired throw pillows from the couch and tossed them out. They served their purpose. They brought us joy for the years that we had them but they were done. D.O.N.E.! Wandering through the aisles of Target we came across some pillows that we both loved and guess what?! Matt and I feel better every time we look at the couch. That was a $30 fix for a daily complaint.
I’ve been looking at everything in my home and in my life with this new filter. How does seeing –“blank”– make me feel? Does it inspire me? Does it drain me? And even if I can’t throw out, donate it or whatever, I realized that all of the things that don’t align with who I am and who I’m becoming are draining my energy. And once I see that, I can have space to either just get rid of it or keep my eye out for a replacement.
Well, that’s my ‘end of the year 2 cents’. So, what is there in your life that is holding you back without you even knowing it? What is your ‘calendar’ on your wall that needs to shift? Or your ‘pillow’ tha needs to be tossed?
This new year, the year of the Horse is going to take us all on a journey. For some it will be easier than others and I dare say that if you keep holding on to the past, to the things that don’t inspire you and your life, you may find the hurdles in front of you too tall to jump. You absolutely may stumble and fall, but the goal and hope is to glide through the course like the well-trained horse. To jump over the hurdles in front of you, each one, and celebrate the victories no matter how small.
Happy New Year everyone!
Here’s to following our hearts and our intuition and to keeping our vision set on the things that inspire us in our lives.