Night Night

I find it ironic that the other day one of my friends asked me about the no-cry-to-sleep method. Ironic because tonight as I was putting my two boys to bed I thought that perhaps Regan MacNeil (Linda Blair’s character in the Exorcist) had come and replaced my sweet baby Miles when I wasn’t looking.

At bedtime tonight I held Miles in his blanket, all 50 yards of blanket, and rocked him as he drifted off to sleep. He wasn’t fully asleep however when I told him that I was going to put him in his crib because it was time for me to go lay down with Mason.

We do this back and forth thing in an effort to be “fair” to the two boys. Stay with one for a bit and then the other and hope that they’ll both fall asleep before we need to embark on round 2 of the process. Tonight, he wasn’t fully asleep when I put him down and when I lay my head on Mason’s pillow to curl up with him for his turn, I swear Miles was gone and Linda Blair arrived.

It started out slow. The “my mommy, my mommy, sit chair, sit chair”. It stayed there for a bit and I thought maybe he’ll calm down. I sat up and looked at him and told him to lay back down and go to sleep. That I was with Mason for a little while.

“No!, No! my mommy, my mommy, sit chair, sit chair” was all he could say. Over and over and over.

I stayed there, behind the wall in the cove where Mason’s bed is, realizing that Mason was passed out, thank GOODNESS!. I tried to stay as still as possible. Maybe, just maybe if I don’t acknowledge him, he’ll get tired of crying and go to bed. No such luck.

The “my mommy, my mommy, sit chair, sit chair” became so loud at one point that I listened to Mason breathing to make sure that he was still amongst the living. How could any living human being possibly sleep through this??!!

I tried one last stich effort to get him to fall asleep. I sat up and asked him to calm down, just caalllm down and go to sleep.

“NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! screaming “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” more screaming. “NOOOOOOO MOMMY SIT CHAIR. MOMMMMMYYYYYYY SIT CHAIRRRRRRR. MOMMMMMMYYYYYYYY. SIT CHAIR!!!!!!”

I think if it had been summer time and the windows had been open the neighbors would have seriously called child services to see what ON EARTH I was doing to my child. I was honestly afraid to look because I thought perhaps his head would be spinning in circles on his little body and I was preparing myself for vomit to be splattering the walls.

I realized after the I think 2 minutes of this that I couldn’t take anymore. It was me who had to break down. Thoughts of the no-cry-to-sleep-method darting through my brain and almost laughing at the insanity of what was happening I got up and went over to the crib. Now, here’s where my heart melts into a big puddle for this little guy. I looked at him and told him in a calm and sweet voice that he was freaking out and mommy wasn’t going to pick him up while he was freaking out. That he needed to calm down.

Right then and there, his little cheeks and lungs filled up with air so that he could take the deep breaths that we’ve taught him to do when he needs to calm down. I didn’t even have to remind him to do it. That was it. All it took. Me asking him to stop and take a breath.

I picked him up, held him in his too large blanket and he fell asleep in my arms, in the chair. I don’t think he could have been sucking any harder on his little thumb and I reassured him that everything was o.k. and that mommy was right there and that I loved him. Then I thanked him from the bottom of my heart for calming down when I asked.

After that episode what I know, is that I love my boys. They aren’t going to want me to hold them in my arms forever. There will come a time when they’ll go to sleep by themselves and their wonderful little kisses become hugs. I’m not ready for that. I love those little kisses and I love the fact that Miles feels safe enough to fall fast asleep in my arms.

And one last photo that I forgot to post about Valentine’s Day. Can you tell that I truly love the day. A day to express love? This was the breakfast I made for Matt. It just brings a smile to my face every time I look at it. 😉 I’m a sucker for love, I see that but oh well. C’est La Vie!